My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
