pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You can't motorboat a personality
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
