It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
