Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
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