just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
my poor anus
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
