low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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