JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
