so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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