She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
she told me i tasted like america
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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