He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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