yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
