4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
God gave him joint rollers for hands
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
