I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
