got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
