I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
