it hurts more in the daytime
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
