I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
