I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
