I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
