Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Randomize
