This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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