i just wanna soil my oats bro
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Randomize
