I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
found the other keg... it's in the tree
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
