I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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