ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
