Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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