is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
