You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
