take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
smell my finger.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
