so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
