can we get nightvision for the apartment?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
