had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
and you fell through a lawn chair
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
