Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
