My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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