i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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