You just made me feel so damn special
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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