I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
