paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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