So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
