We named our party play list daddy issues
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
