No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i out mim tonsoeep
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
