chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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