Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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