I swear she didn't look like that last week.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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