Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
