please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Randomize
