I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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