We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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