She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
