Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
