Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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